Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
