Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
