he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
