I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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