WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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