She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
