you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I am available for nakedness
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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