im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
