I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize