Jerry, you need to find god
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
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I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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