You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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