I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
