Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize