Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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