I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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