You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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