Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
