38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.