There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
