i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just found a bag of teeth...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I lost the right to judge tonight
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
