Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
