so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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