I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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