On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
