1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
