; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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