I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
pray to the hookup gods
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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