It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
