I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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