i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
