I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
