and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.