dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
