playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.