I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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