Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE