pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
How external is "for external use only"?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
