You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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