As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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