better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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