so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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