This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
last night I used snow as a chaser
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
