Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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