The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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