We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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