I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
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He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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