At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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