Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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