I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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