My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
