And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
