the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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