Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
