Kiss
Puke
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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