Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
