I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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