This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
