I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Alive.
So much puke
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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