Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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