i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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